Monday, July 5, 2010

11 second club july 2010 WIP


hi guys,
once again i thought i'd take part in the 11 sec club this month!! the dialogue is really tempting! well here's something i tried to do. this is my first blocking. do let me know where i'm going wrong. i hope u can guess the story!!

personally i'm not too happy with the last pose ("i'm alone"). cud u suggest me a better acting choice?

thanks guys! ^_^

5 comments:

Xylem said...

HEEEYYYY!!! Nice blocking !!! :D
Ur always so kool wit d acting man!!! Real Kool.

Bt I thing, u already kno. D last Pose. It jst dsnt fit.
I dunno hw 2 explain it. Bt c if keeping his palm on his mouth exactly when he finishes saying "Im Alone". With he eyes closed tight in pain. Like he's suppressing his crying breath. Nd it might also go wit his feminine character.

Looking forward to the big opening. :D Wishing u best of luck. :D

Harish k said...

Key poses r good :D
few things

*work on the leg pose because it stays like this for the whole scene n i think it needs work..

*the acting choice is really great but the concept is so-so..

*maybe u can shift the phone form one hand to the other hand, during the dilog..it will give u the variation in the gesture..

*maybe u can keep the legs in a prefect girl pose like both legs on one side..when they sit down..
http://4dpencil.net/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/girl2.jpg
something like this but only the legs..

**as u said last pose is not working ^_^

*n u can remove the photo frame from the scene..its out of place...with out it u will keep everybody guessing what she is going to say, n why is she so depressed, whom is she talking to :)

Keep going bro
even i was planing to take part...but got some work..may be some other time ^_^

cheers
harish k

kasana said...

Dapun Rai Diwan
Good take.Plz create a back story for the given dial.and crosschk with these poses as I think there is mis calculation in understanding.
wht I understand is this guy is bachelor or kind of socially outcast. and now he talking his friend about this situation...And he is not happy too.and there is nobody to witness or complain about not making bed, washing etc. precisely he is seeking someone's company.
when he say 'Hm?' this 'Hm' in hindi wud be like 'Haan?' Mujhe kya mila harry? Haan ? kya mila mujhe? but in this acting choice it seems as he is surprised as if somebody asked him or called him.
Agree with harish about removing the picture and giving phone in other hand so tht we can read expression clearly.But don't switch between hand as harish suggested As for me it will bring energy while he is down. I wud suggest to bring more subtlety. may head down on knees.
Don't knw If I am making sense?

dapOOn said...

hey thanks guys!! trying to do some subtle acting, which i dont usually do! so treading new areas! ^_^

@ bit2, thanks bro! i'll keep ur suggestion in mind... looks like a good acting choice to try out! :)

@ hareeeeeeesh, it's a GUY!!! lol! i'm going for an effeminate guy!
anyway, i'll definitely check the legs. i'll probably try and get them even closer to him... kinda like bottling himself up!
about switching hands in the middle, i'm not too sure about that bro. as kasana said, it mite not make him look tooooo down and depressed! switching hands might mean, he's thinking "oh yea now i have to hold the phone in the other hand". i dunno bro, mite look forced!
i'm removing the photoframe after getting a lot of such comments in other forums!

@ mr. narender singh kasanaanessss, you SIR have an eye for detail! lol
love your observations bro!
that "hmm" pose definitely needs fixing now cuz it really looks like he suddenly became alert to a question!
as far as the story is concerned, here's what i tried: he's an effeminate guy who's married to a dominating wife. the wife abuses him and forces him to do all household chores. and here he calls up his friend harry and pours his heart out to him because he's all depressed and alone (not alone as in PHYSICALLY alone, but alone meaning: nobody cares for his feelings in his house).
i tried to explain that in the photoframe, but i think it's not at all working and is infact distracting the viewer from the acting. so i'll remove the photoframe and change the story as this:
this guy is effeminate and all his "MANLY" colleagues make fun of him, which is why he prefers staying alone and aloof. he has only one friend harry and he seeks his help asking why he cant resist doing "FEMALE" chores like making beds or washing dishes when he doesnt have to. and in the end he says he feels all alone (like no one cares for his feelings).

phew!!! some explanation! lol

about making him hold the phone in the other hand to make his expressions CLEAR, i'm not too sure buddy! cuz he's pressed up against the wall, so i dont think he wud want to have the phone too to be pressed up against it (to make scratches on it lol). i'll see if i can move it a li'l back to have the expressions be seen clearer.
i really like the 'bury head in the knees' suggestion! i'll definitely give it a go-ahead!

oh man what a LOOOOONG comment!! looks like i'm justifying too much! lol

well thanks for ur great suggestions guys! i'll push the poses more and take it to the higher passes now!

cheers!!

kasana said...

Yo Bitch ! its not justifying. this is a movie called 'CLASH OF THE IDEAZ' to extract best ones.
Dapun : "i'm not too sure buddy! cuz he's pressed up against the wall, so i dont think he wud want to have the phone too to be pressed up against it"
Very precisely bro ' Animtion need to be visually correct, not logically.'
but I must say this animation has lot of pottential to make in TOP 10. believe me...DO IT
HUAAA !!!