Monday, September 21, 2009

11second club "1st pass"

hi guys,
changed my concept n re blocked it, took it to the 1st pass..check it out n give in ur reviews..
cheers
video

5 comments:

Prasad said...

Why did you scraped your old idea yarr !? ...that too was great ...well, this is also good ...but i think this don't make it look like a continuous dialog (and am sure it is ) ...it felt like lady says "don't you...." then little girl says something and then the lady says "who do you....."

...both looking the other way actually breaks the dialog ...instead a angry stare between those two between that pause might work...

...I donno, just what i felt ...am sure you must have your thought for all this...

...and man don't delete the post ...it's ok if sometimes something doesn't work ...we all know how a nice animator you are :)

...long reply ...sorry if i said something irrelevant ...have a great day and best luck !

whoami said...

Hi!

As I said, I too felt that the acting choice was better in your previous attempt. This one sure shows a background of the story through the set, but the acting choice seems a bit weak. The posing looks fine at some places, timing of poses also almost hit the accent, but are not working very well.

The pose on 'ever' hits fine, but again bringing up her left hand on 'use that tone of voice' makes it look repetitive. Maybe you can keep it subtle, to give you option for another big pose for the next accent i.e 'missy'. Right now it feels like she is coming back to the pose she hit on 'ever' only with the difference on the right hand.

Also, she loses character, the anger, just before the last line. Showing a bit of frustration because she has lost respect might help.

The pose that you have used on 'talking to' can be modified a bit and used on 'who do you think' as that part sounds more powerful than the 'talking to' part.

Now, coming to camera, try using only two of those magnifications instead of current three that you are using. In short, have only 2 cuts. That way you won't lose the continuity in the dialogue, the reason being, that the dialogue is intense, but not fast or doesn't have too much tension also.

My comments are from the p.o.v of a viewer. It is just me. Some parts may be right according the thought you have put before and while blocking. It is easier said than done. I appreciate your efforts. Keep it up! Good job.

Cheers!

Harish k said...

hi guys thx for the comment..
chandu -
i will surly look into all u have said..even i left there were 2 many camera cut..n i will look into the ending part as well thx ^_^ some nice pointers there..

prasad -
thx for the comment..no actually what happened is i didn't feel the animation in my old idea..true i loved the concept tooo it was different..haha..but some how i was not able to get the feel in the animation..n i could not get what i had in mind..
n i deleted the post,so that no one gives comments on it..because i had planed to scrap the idea..hehe :P

thx again guys
i am planing to take it to 2nd pass tomo..^_^ will keep it updated
cheers

dapOOn said...

prasad and chandu have given u really good suggestions! i completely agree with them! good luck bro!

Deepak Arasu said...

I love this one:) its a clear and getting funny... funnier? - depends on the way you act this up. I like the simplicity in this piece. Keep breaking your head...